Difficulty

by cosmologists

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1.
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One too many 09:26
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6.
Chair 02:02
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Spoon 04:42
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10.
Shoes 09:08
11.
Arguments 03:53

about

27 August 2018 —12:26 am. I'm finishing this album after maybe 2 or 3 weeks since it was recorded and several inaccurate mixes. I'm not sure whether to release it now because it's late and maybe it won't be seen by most? I know it's a stupid and hypocritical thought because I always tell everyone including myself that music was (if anything) the only thing I will produce and release without giving a single fuck about anyone.

Anyway, the album was recorded on a warm night in the bomb shelter with Renée next door reading and the washing machine going on in the background. I had this urge to record this after picking up the classical guitar for the first time in a long while having been in various messes of mental and physical states and travelling quite a bit all of a sudden. Motion sickness or something.

I suck at guitar and that day I sucked even more! I was maybe even pretty nervous about recording (as you can tell if you listen to the songs chronologically). I think slowly I was learning to play the guitar again. This guitar is actually older than me. It's my mum's classical guitar and I have this vague memory of playing it on the floor when I was at an age where I probably shouldn't be remembering stuff yet. It's also the guitar I first learnt music with when I was 13, taking classical guitar class for only a few months at Funan with a teacher who ended each class with some dodgy art-of-war kind of teaching. We would be trying to contain our laughter when he would mispronounce the word "strategy". He would say

"In everything you do, you must have tragedy!"



P.S
It has been a pretty trying time and I go back to music mostly as a distraction from the things I have to do. Amongst the many important errands and responsibilities, one of the overdue things that has been bothering me deeply is fixing my relationship with my parents, who I haven't seen in a month and deserve more than this fucked up ungrateful son of theirs. This morning I got up and fixed some silly google drive problem that didn't allow my dad to see the images I had taken during our last trip as a family. I loathed fixing this technological cockup but was pretty glad I did. He replied me later at night on the way home from the studio talking about him and mum's thoughts about the photos, sounding so appreciative that I am reminded of the little times that I do things like that for them to make them happy. I felt like crying at that point but didn't because I was on the train.

credits

released August 26, 2018

mum and dad, renée, close friends in school, old friends who just went overseas, old friends who are still here or who are back from overseas, song ming, terry, jeremy who i have been talking to

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about

cosmologists Singapore

Explorations in guitar, synth, field recordings, and other things. Proudly made under the depressing yellow-lit nights of Singapore.

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