27 August 2018 —12:26 am. I'm finishing this album after maybe 2 or 3 weeks since it was recorded and several inaccurate mixes. I'm not sure whether to release it now because it's late and maybe it won't be seen by most? I know it's a stupid and hypocritical thought because I always tell everyone including myself that music was (if anything) the only thing I will produce and release without giving a single fuck about anyone.

Anyway, the album was recorded on a warm night in the bomb shelter with Renée next door reading and the washing machine going on in the background. I had this urge to record this after picking up the classical guitar for the first time in a long while having been in various messes of mental and physical states and travelling quite a bit all of a sudden. Motion sickness or something.

I suck at guitar and that day I sucked even more! I was maybe even pretty nervous about recording (as you can tell if you listen to the songs chronologically). I think slowly I was learning to play the guitar again. This guitar is actually older than me. It's my mum's classical guitar and I have this vague memory of playing it on the floor when I was at an age where I probably shouldn't be remembering stuff yet. It's also the guitar I first learnt music with when I was 13, taking classical guitar class for only a few months at Funan with a teacher who ended each class with some dodgy art-of-war kind of teaching. We would be trying to contain our laughter when he would mispronounce the word "strategy". He would say

"In everything you do, you must have tragedy!"

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P.S
It has been a pretty trying time and I go back to music mostly as a distraction from the things I have to do. Amongst the many important errands and responsibilities, one of the overdue things that has been bothering me deeply is fixing my relationship with my parents, who I haven't seen in a month and deserve more than this fucked up ungrateful son of theirs. This morning I got up and fixed some silly google drive problem that didn't allow my dad to see the images I had taken during our last trip as a family. I loathed fixing this technological cockup but was pretty glad I did. He replied me later at night on the way home from the studio talking about him and mum's thoughts about the photos, sounding so appreciative that I am reminded of the little times that I do things like that for them to make them happy. I felt like crying at that point but didn't because I was on the train.